Being Worthy of Belonging

Simply put, I felt too weird to be on the planet, certainly not accepted. The pain of this was excruciating to me. It literally undermined all that I tried to do and be.

How this has changed my life.

At the end of this past summer, Brené Brown came to my attention through some random sequence of events that I no longer remember. Her insights through her research of shame and vulnerability really spoke to me when I heard her speak on YouTube. Following that, I checked out her audio The Power of Vulnerability and listened to it during long walks.

There was point in the audiobook where she shared her discovery about how people are able to live wholeheartedly. She found that the only difference between people could live wholeheartedly and those who could not was that those who could believed they are worthy of love and belonging.

Upon hearing this, it was like a call of my Soul. My huge focus for many years has been to live from the Heart. Anything that could enhance and expand on my ability to live from my Heart had my full attention. I perked right up!

Immediately I wanted to apply this truth by using my Heart Coding method of energy tapping. I decided to simply focus on the first part to begin with – being worthy of love. So my Opening Statement was: I now activate the energy of being worthy of love. Then on each of my tapping points and final Hand Circuit, I created the shortened phrase: being worthy of love energy.

I completed a round or two of this and it felt really good. But it was also familiar. My experiences of Love with my Twin Flame over the years apparently had corrected any worthiness issues I had around love. After so long, how could I believe otherwise?

People who are able to live wholehearted lives believe they are worthy of love and belonging. ~Brené Brown

 

The Turning Point

 

The next day I switched my focus to the second part of Brené’s statement:

I now activate the energy of being worthy of belonging.”

As before, I did a couple of rounds of tapping. I could feel energy moving within me. What I experienced afterward surprised me. I distinctly felt like I came back into myself. I became very centered. My mind didn’t really understand it.

In the days that followed, I shifted into a more objective stance with
people
, especially friends and family. In fact, I saw that quite
a few people I was trying to connect with and have in my life were
not interested in me belonging with them and that I needed to let
them go – stop trying to be in their lives unless they gave clear
indication that I was welcome.

This had been an age-old trauma with me. From a very young age, I distinctly felt unwanted, that I didn’t belong in my family. Upon starting school, I felt unwanted by my peers. Friendships were rare during my school years. The feeling of not belonging in the world increased as I saw how different I was, and then especially as I had my first spiritual experiences as a teenager.

Simply put, I felt too weird to be on the planet, certainly not accepted. The pain of this was excruciating to me. It literally undermined all that I tried to do and be.

After all of that time, now my Heart Coding gave to me the energy of being worthy of belonging. Up until then, I had not experienced it. As the energy was delivered and integrated into my energy systems, it informed my mind and shifted my inner reality into one that reflected a ‘being worthy of belonging’ state. It was like the Coding initiated a cascade event where fragmented components of my life began clicking into place.

Continued Shifts

 

Over the past couple of months, global shifts are continuing to take place in my being. That one action (and the subsequent tapping reinforcements) have changed many other things. For instance, I’ve been struggling with defining how I want to live my life. I’m in my late forties and still couldn’t figure this out. Past journals recorded me agonizing over this lack of clarity.

Within my first week of doing the Being Worthy of Belonging Heart Coding, all of that clarified and I took hold of what I now knew that I wanted like it was a treasure map.


 

Taking my place in the world

All of this propelled me into making a firm commitment to living in the reality of my choice – the New World of Love. In the intervening time since that first tapping, this decision has solidified even more and I finally have a website nearly completed that I have put together that reflects how I want to live. My website also fully shows my “weirdness.”

And I feel okay with that.

Another example is that I further realized, when it came to other people, that I was taking on their perceptions of reality and they inadvertently would become mine in some way. It was like I was a little sponge. Eventually I would feel confused and unfocused about my life. I would need to spend time alone and realign to my Heart and then clear out the unwanted energies.

Now I hear the thoughts and beliefs of another person and I distinctly make the choice whether I want to accord that as my reality. I can stand more fully as who I am. The lack of feeling worthy of belonging kept me blending in with others. It’s no wonder my energy came back to me as soon as I started Heart Coding.

Looking Back

 

Lately I have been reflecting on how I feel now compared to how I used to feel. Before I felt like there was a big hole in me, like a deflated tire. I couldn’t keep “air.” I was always leaking. Or that I was like an open circuit – open and searching. Never fully what I was.

Tapping for “the energy of being worthy of belonging” plugged that tire. And I finally became whole. I have become a closed circuit. My energy came back to me – centered within me. And it has remained.

There are still habits of thought and emotion that are shifting. As I notice them, I just do more Heart Coding. The data from the being worthy of belonging energy informs my mind to correct the error in programming and plugs any leaks in my energy that may have come from engaging in that old thought or emotion. And it feels really good – the energy of being worthy of belonging.

It’s because of this shift that I am finally taking my place in the world – and one of my own choosing.

Further reading: Brené
Brown on the Power of Vulnerability

Update

10.13.19: I just made a startling discovery while organizing my Heartweaving Projects. In the back of previous Bullet Journal, I had drawn a mind map of my current projects (at the time) and on it I had written “Belonging in the World.” I had completely forgotten that I set this Project up. I even had a name for my Project Team. As far as I can tell, based on the listing of that page in my Index, it must have been this past January that I activated that Belonging in the World Project. I can’t find any info that I wrote down about the intentions and parameters of the Project, but in order for me to have activated it, I set some intentions – purpose, etc.

The things is, I obviously did no active work on the Project (if you see my Heartweaving Projects Log, you will see as I start adding my Projects that there are Conferences and Processes that I usually do when working a Project with my Project Teams.) So, all that has happened that I have related in the article has been because of the work of this Heartweaving Project, even though I forgot all about it. My Project Team did not!

It’s no wonder I have been through so many tough shifts since January. Things would have probably been easier had I actively worked the Project. Lesson learned!

My Belonging in the World Project Team has indicated that the Project is now complete. I can deactivate it. Woohoo!

 

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2 thoughts on “Being Worthy of Belonging”

  1. That’s so nice <3
    Belonging is something I still struggle with
    Can relate so much with the leaky tire
    Hope to speak to u sometime Leia <3

    1. Thank you, Safi! I do think many people struggle with it. It’s been a surprise to see the effects of the lack of belonging until now it is being reversed. In the past I was shown that it was a “belonging to myself,” but I didn’t know how to actually make that happen until that “magic” phrase of Brene’s. Looking forward to hearing from you! 🙂 <3

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